Shattered
by RPGgirl514
Summary: "Ice is my life; no one needs to tell me how dangerous it can be." Elsa still believes she is a monster, no matter how many times Kristoff tells her otherwise. Slight Kristelsa, assumes an AU ending to the movie.


It snowed the day of Anna's funeral.

Elsa wondered numbly if it was due to her own crushing sorrow or mere coincidence. Anna would have thought the snow was beautiful. She would have barreled through the halls and slid down the bannisters, her musical laughter echoing through the castle, before skidding to a halt in front of her sister's door. "Elsa, Elsa, it's snowing! Do you wanna build a snowman?" Elsa wondered if she was doomed to be reminded of Anna in everything now.

The memorial service was surprisingly well-attended, despite the weather. Elsa suspected many of the so-called mourners might only have showed up to see if the Ice Queen was as out-of-control as gossip would have them believe. The priest (the same one who had presided over her own coronation only a fortnight prior, Elsa noticed) delivered a touching message in remembrance of Anna. Then it was Elsa's turn.

She slowly came forward to stand before the memorial stone. Elsa wished she could reach out and touch it, drawing strength from the stoic granite, but she feared it might break the tenuous hold she had on her grief. Instead she twisted her gloved hands together more firmly and clasped them in front of her.

"Anna was not only your crown princess; she was my sister," Elsa said, her voice wavering. She took a deep breath. _Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show. _"She is - was - indomitable. Determined. No matter how many times she failed, she never got discouraged." How many times had Anna knocked on Elsa's door over the years, without a response? Dozens? Hundreds?

A flash of blond caught Elsa's eye at the edge of the crowd. It was the ice harvester from the fjord. The last time she'd seen him, his pale hair had been dirty, matted down with gore, and his face had been smeared with blood and tears. Her memory was still a bit hazy, but the image of him holding a sword aloft over the traitor at his feet was clear in her mind. His brown eyes, then filled with fury, now seemed remarkably gentle. His reindeer stood placidly at his elbow. He leaned on the animal for support.

Elsa continued. "Anna was the sort of person who, when she came into your life, no matter how briefly, her presence kept the hearth of your heart burning, awaiting her return. She was never _truly_ gone - just gone for a little while. You see, if I am ice - then Anna was fire. She kept us all warm with her bright, short life. Arendelle will be a darker and colder place without her, and the flame she kept inside my heart has gone out."

Elsa stepped away, feeling the familiar sensation raging within her, a shadow of the blizzard about to be unleashed. She broke into a run. For a moment she thought of returning to the castle, but there were far too many people around. Elsa cast her mind around, thinking of somewhere safe, somewhere she could be alone. Somewhere she could be who she was, without hurting anybody - _like she had hurt Anna._

That was how Elsa found herself on the North Mountain, inside her damaged ice palace. She curled up on the floor of the main hall, crying crystal tears that turned to ice before they fell.

* * *

><p>Elsa didn't know how long she lay there, but she wore herself out and dozed off. She woke with a start. Elsa could feel the tears that had frozen to her face and scrubbed her cheeks harshly to remove them. As she smoothed down her hair, she felt rather than heard the enormous doors to her ice palace creak open. She sank into a defensive stance, ready to fill the intruder so full of icicles he'd be a frozen pincushion before he could blink.<p>

It was the ice harvester, the one with the reindeer, though the animal was conspicuously absent.

"What are you doing here?" Elsa said.

The man jumped and nearly lost his footing on the slippery floor. "You scared me," he said. "I'm sorry, I didn't - I didn't mean to intrude. I didn't know anyone was here. I mean, of course I didn't, how could I?" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You know what, I'm gonna go."

"No, stay." The words were out of Elsa's mouth before she knew she'd said them.

"Are you sure, because -"

"I'm sure."

A long silence fell.

"This place is amazing," he offered, glancing around. "That's why I came back, actually. I wanted a closer look. Ice has always fascinated me, and, well, you've done things with ice I never knew were possible."

"Thank you," Elsa said. "You're the ice harvester from the fjord. I'm sorry, I - I don't even know your name."

"Kristoff," he said, holding out his hand, and she allowed him to pull her to her feet.

"I suppose thanks are in order," Elsa said. "I understand you helped Anna find me here, and . . . for what you did on the fjord."

Kristoff looked at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with one enormous hand. "I can't stop thinking about that day," he admitted. "I didn't think, I just reacted. Now that it's over, I keep wondering - did I do the right thing? Anna was freezing - and you were still in danger. But after everything Anna did to find you, I couldn't let him kill you."

_I couldn't let them kill you._ It was jarring, the juxtaposition between Hans' words then and Kristoff's words now.

"In any case, you have Arendelle's gratitude," said Elsa. She could feel her powers rising in her breast unbidden, her grief for Anna brought forth by their conversation still fresh and raw. "You should probably go. It's not safe . . . _You're_ not safe here."

Kristoff looked at her curiously. "Is it your ice powers?"

Elsa nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She tucked her hands into her armpits, rolling her shoulders forward to curl protectively in upon herself.

Instead of recoiling in fear, Kristoff took a step towards her. "Here, why don't you sit down," he said. He reached towards her, careful not to touch her, but she followed him to the base of the grand staircase and sat on the first few steps. He sat down beside her, closer than she would have liked, but strangely enough his nearness put her at ease.

"You're very kind," Elsa said.

"Um . . . thanks?" Kristoff said. He shrugged. "This is what my ma does when people are upset. Has them sit down while she makes blackcurrant tea. I would make you some tea, but, well -" Kristoff gestured around them.

"Perhaps another time," Elsa said weakly. "Really, you've done more than enough. You should leave me be. I'm dangerous."

Kristoff gave her a sardonic smile. "I'm not afraid of you, your Majesty."

"Why not?"

"Anna wasn't."

Elsa laughed bitterly. "Anna was wrong about me."

"Anna was wrong about a lot of things," Kristoff agreed. "But I don't think she was wrong about you."

Elsa stared at him. "But you've seen what I'm capable of. I've destroyed my kingdom. My sister is _dead!_" He winced, and Elsa recoiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean -"

"Don't worry about me," Kristoff said. "She was your sister. You have a right to be upset. But I hope you know that what happened on the fjord wasn't your fault."

"But I froze her heart," Elsa said miserably. "She died because of me."

"Anna loved you," Kristoff said. "Frozen heart or not, she would have put herself between you and that sword, no matter what."

"That almost makes it worse," Elsa whispered. "She died protecting a monster."

"You're not a monster," Kristoff said. He almost sounded amused. He laid his mittened hand over hers, which were clasped, white-knuckled, upon her lap.

Elsa gasped. A thin layer of ice coated the outside of his glove, but he didn't remove it. Elsa gaped at him. Why wasn't he afraid?

"My subjects fear me," she confessed. It had been on her mind constantly since her disastrous coronation, but she wasn't sure why she was telling this man she had just met her darkest secrets. "I tried to hide my powers from them. I wanted to be a monarch like my father before me - respected and - and loved."

Before she could protest, Kristoff slipped his hand out of the mitten encased in ice and held it to her cheek. His hands were warm. Elsa had almost forgotten what warmth felt like. It had been a long time since she had dared allow anyone to touch her.

"Fear breeds fear, your Majesty," he said softly, "and you are clearly terrified. Your people fear your powers because you do."

She turned her face away from his hand. "My powers have brought me nothing but pain," she said. "I am a danger to everyone and everything around me. Arendelle would have been better off if I'd never been born -" Elsa heard Kristoff suck in his breath.

"Don't say that," Kristoff said, "never say that." He realized he was rubbing small circles over her knuckles with one hand and the other was coiled around the back of her neck. He cleared his throat awkwardly and drew his hands back into his lap, avoiding her eyes.

"You know, I didn't know Anna that long, but I cared about her," Kristoff said. "More than I ever thought I could care about anyone."

"She always had that effect on people." Elsa smiled sadly. "Thank you for your company, but you should know this can't last. It's alright. I'm used to being alone. I'm dangerous."

Kristoff pounded a fist on the stair above where he was seated, causing cracks as fine as spiderwebs to branch outward from the impact. Elsa jumped.

"Listen to me," Kristoff said firmly. "I've been around ice as far back as I can remember. Ice is my life; no one needs to tell me how dangerous it can be. I've lost more men to it than I care to mention. But if given the respect it is due, ice can be beautiful - there's nothing else in the world like it. So I would appreciate it if you would stop reminding me how dangerous you are, because with all due respect, your Majesty, you are beautiful."

"Elsa," she said.

"I'm sorry?"

"You killed a man to save my life," she said. "That merits a first-name basis, don't you think?"

Kristoff smiled. "As you wish, Elsa."

* * *

><p><em>Author's note: I hope my AU ending was clear by context, but if not, this story assumes that at the end of Frozen, Hans' sword shattered a frozen Anna. Kristoff lost it, picked up the sword, and killed Hans. As such, the Great Thaw didn't happen and Arendelle is still under an eternal winter. If you need any more clarification, drop me a PM or a review and I'll let you know! Hope you enjoyed it.<em>


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